


Sick To My Stomach (These Memories Make Me)

by 20dollarfobleed



Series: Manic Depressive [3]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Gen, Tyler's past, basically a background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 08:59:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5284712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/20dollarfobleed/pseuds/20dollarfobleed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this one is sad but i have an idea for one that's happy/fluffy/better than this one just wait</p></blockquote>





	Sick To My Stomach (These Memories Make Me)

Tyler remembers being afraid of himself for a long, long time before he got the diagnosis.

He remembers having a panic attack right there in front of the therapist.

He remembers his mother looking at him with horror and sympathy, _"My baby! My poor baby!"_

He remembers going through website after website in a panic, trying to get as much information on the illness that's plagued his brain.

 

 

_**Bipolar disorder** , _

_also known as **bipolar affective disorder**  or  **manic depression** , _

_is a[mental disorder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_disorder) characterized by _

_periods of elevated mood and[periods of depression](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_episode).[[1]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder#cite_note-BMJ2012-1)[[2]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder#cite_note-DSM5-2)  _

 

 

He remembers reciting that whenever someone asked what bipolar disorder consisted of, too afraid to give his own definition.

They wouldn't understand his own definition.

They wouldn't get that to him, Bipolar Disorder consists of the bruise on Josh's jaw, consists of the broken furniture and ripped posters of his room when he tore it apart, consists of fear in his siblings whenever they argued with him, consists of whispering in the hallways about him, consists of mood stabilizers that make him sick to his fucking stomach, consists of scattered, crumpled papers from long nights where he couldn't sleep so instead, he wrote.

They wouldn't get it.

 

He remembers his parents making him wear short-sleeved shirts, too afraid of what a jacket could be hiding because his mother read up on the disorder too.

 

_The risk of[suicide](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide) among those with the disorder is high at greater than 6% over 20 years,_

_while[self harm](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self_harm) occurs in 30–40%.[[1]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder#cite_note-BMJ2012-1)  _

He was treated like a fragile piece of glass for years.

His mom even considered not letting him leave the house for college.

 

He's free now. His parents trust him alone with himself now, but he remembers.

 

He remembers all of it.

**Author's Note:**

> this one is sad but i have an idea for one that's happy/fluffy/better than this one just wait


End file.
